


The Way of Wishes

by dreamwriteremmy (ehryniewi)



Series: Apollo Headcanon PWKM Verse 1 [1]
Category: Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: Backstory, Character Study, Gen, Phoenix Wright Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-17
Updated: 2013-05-26
Packaged: 2017-11-10 08:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/464432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ehryniewi/pseuds/dreamwriteremmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So why did Thalassa abandon Apollo, anyways? Who raised him? How does he react when he finds out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: A Mother's Prayer

**Author's Note:**

> written for a PWKM prompt.
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://bludhavens.livejournal.com/24505.html?thread=32635065#t32635065)
> 
> The title comes from The Neverending Story by Michael Ende:
>
>> "I did everything wrong," he [Bastian] said. "I misunderstood everything. Moon Child gave me so much, and all I did with it was harm, harm to myself and harm to Fantastica."
>> 
>> Dame Eyola gave him a long look.
>> 
>> No," she said. "I don't believe so. You went the way of wishes, and that is never straight. You went the long way around, but that was your way. And do you know why? Because you are one of those who can't go back until they have found the fountain from which springs the Water of Life. And that's the most secret place in Fantastica. There's no simple way of getting there."
>> 
>> After a short silence she added: "But every way that leads there is the right one."

_a few weeks after Apollo's father's "death"_

Thalassa finished signing the paperwork. Apollo was very young. When she'd called about giving Apollo up for adoption a mere few weeks ago, shortly after her husband's death, they'd suggested she bottlefeed her baby. Something about attachment. She didn't quite understand it. And sadly, without someone to support her, she had to let her baby go and return to work. 

She sighed passing the paperwork to the woman in the business suit sitting in the armchair. Then she leaned over the basinette. The woman put the paperwork in her briefcase, watching as Thalassa gave her last goodbyes to her little boy. She kissed him on the forehead, murmuring, "I'm not abandoning you, Apollo. This is just for the best. So you'll be safe. I know you'll see the truth, someday." 

Then she handed the child in his basinette to the socialworker who was preparing to leave. Right before the woman left, Thalassa remembered one last thing. She slipped one of the bracelets off her wrist. "His name's Apollo... Please take care of him. And I'd like him to have this. So he'll be able to find me again, someday."

The woman nodded curtly then left quickly, the door shutting solidly behind her.

Later that night, Thalassa turned on the old boombox which had an old children's CD in it... She began to sing along. 

_I know you're listening as I lay me down to sleep  
It's not for me I ask, but my children's souls to keep  
It seems the world is going crazy  
And though I need to do my share  
Could you please take them under wing  
Watch over them especially  
Keeping them safe from everything  
This is a mother's prayer_ [1]

Thalassa began to cry, remembering her and her husband singing it to little Apollo while she was pregnant. 

 

She hoped she'd made the right choice. 

 

A few weeks later, she returned to Troupe Gramarye. She threw herself into her work, trying to forget what she'd left behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] lyrics from [A Mother and Father's Prayer by Collin Raye](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf5GPxOE1I4)


	2. Problematic Placements

_Apollo is three years old_

Caritas Amundsen frowned, looking down at the paperwork she'd gotten for three-year-old Apollo. Another family saying they couldn't handle the fussy child. Another layer of abandonment on a little boy who couldn't be this much trouble. She sighed. She'd already returned the three-year-old back to the orphanage mother with another "I'm so sorry." 

Why weren't these placements working? 

The first week, the parents would be eager, but within a few months to a year in each placement, the parents would be tearing their hair out. Complaining about time and sleep and work. And how impossible it was to take care of a little boy who wouldn't settle. 

She pulled the rest of his file out and began rifling through it, trying to draw patterns out of each of the families on a notepad. 

Finally she realized what she was doing. She was going with the families who were eager to adopt, but not ones with experience. Maybe she needed to take another stab at this from a different angle. 

She logged onto Apollo's file on the computer and re-added him to the waiting child listing with a small adjustment to what kind of parents they were looking for. "Mother wants her child to go to a family with children or previous adoption experience." Thalassa, his birth mother, hadn't really given them a specification, all she'd said was to take care of him. Caritas didn't think that the woman would have much of a problem with these adjustments if it meant he'd find a good mom.

 

She also looked down at the words written by the socialworker who'd filed Thalassa's information the day she'd called asking for information about putting her son up for adoption. _She values truth._

She added that value statement into the request. "Mother wants her child to go to parents who value the truth." 

It was a very distinct statement from other birth mothers and she had a feeling that making that value open might help him, even though it would narrow down the adoptive parenting pool. 

She saved the file and uploaded it, then made notes in her paperwork about this update to his records. 

Now, hopefully she'd find him a fitting placement and the care his mother wanted.


	3. Flicker

_mentions the time period between when Apollo is five and six, set around when he's between 7 and 7-and-a-half_

When she had made the decision to narrow the pool, she wasn't quite expecting the time gap to be this large or the failures that still permeated the process. It might have been that even after the repeated issues, she still had faith in humanity.

One particular incident about a year prior had caused quite a media stir at the office because the adoption system had come under questioning for it. It wasn't all her fault -- there'd been a bureaucracy mishap, they'd been understaffed at the time, and the socialworker in charge of monitoring the household had not been her at the time and he'd been corrupt. Corruption is everywhere, people had always told her. It's always been echoed in the papers and on TV - the constant battles of local mob families and gangs, funding cuts, she has even heard rumors that the proof-ruling that runs the court system now is based around corruption and not the "fixing the system so that convictions can be made swifter" defense that was its justification according to lecturers in university. She's heard the horrors of parts of the system, even seen some of them, but it wasn't until she found herself barraged by the media that she realized how utterly fragile it is when under pressure. It's not much different from many of the children she works with on a daily basis: something broken but still surviving, doing its best to manage with what it has.

She feels guilty over Apollo's flickering emotional storm after that whole incident. If the acting out is any indication, he's hurting far more than she is. However, she still has some flicker of hope that all is not lost on him. Just as her boss decided to keep her while they picked up the pieces in the aftermath, she doesn't plan on leaving him either. She works twice as hard to make things right. It might be that she's taken the long way, but that doesn't mean it has to be the wrong one.

 

The last thing she expected, though, was the internal phone call.

"Caritas, I have a client on another line who is interested in Apollo. Would you like me to transfer the call over?"

"Sure, can I have the client's name?"

"Sarah Justice."

(Mrs. Justice wants him? Doesn't she usually adopt older children?)

 

The Justices are something like celebrities in the system because they donate so much time and effort into raising awareness and walking their talk. Sarah is a contract charity event organizer for many of the local orphanages, and her husband is an entertainer whose most recent claim to fame is a scholarship program for at-risk youth to attend workshops at A Brighter Future, the studio where he works.

 

Caritas is in awe as she talks to the woman over the phone, there's genuine interest in Mrs. Justice's voice and she asks questions that can be answered over the phone, unlike other potential parents she's been talking to lately. Caritas realizes as she talks that it's the first time in a while that she's being interviewed by a client while interviewing them. It's something that really should happen more often and it shows Mrs. Justice's familiarity with the system that she pulls it off in such a manner that it feels like conversation and not an interview script. When they're both satisfied with preliminary information, the two of them schedule another interview -- this time in person.

The months that follow are full of interviews, visitations (to introduce Apollo multiple times to the possibility of a new family and to see their home), paperwork, and waiting... mostly waiting.

Finally, a half-year later, and she's filling out the last of the bureaucracy the agency requires for adoptions. The Justices aren't exactly what she expected, but they're so utterly honest and upfront about what's non-traditional in their family that it's a refreshing change of pace.


	4. Coming Home

**Chapter 4: Coming Home**  
Sarah glances back in the rearview mirror at Apollo, who is kicking his feet, looking out the car window with wide eyes. Not that there's much to see, but she supposes to a kid who spent very little time out this late, there's probably a lot that's new.

Finally she pulls up into the driveway and turns to look at him when she's done parking the car, "We're home, Apollo."

Apollo waits patiently while she gathers all her belongings and Apollo's from the front seat and then opens the back door of the car for him. He gets out and waits patiently until she locks the car back up and leads the way to the front door.

Once inside, he looks around once and sees how the way they've organized the front hall isn't much different from the group home. He takes off his coat and hangs it up on the hook with his name on it (everyone has a coat hook with their name) and then goes to the bench and starts taking off his shoes and putting them in the tray along the opposite wall. Then turns to look at her, with a shy hopeful grin and Sarah nods, smiling back, "Good job, Apollo."

She starts walking down the hall toward the parlor. 

When she nears the room, she hears Brandon singing, "Had the bingo-bongos done, Suddenly I'm getting national tours~"[1] She's a little mortified by the fact that he's singing one of the dirtier songs he does on Friday nights and runs in and shuts off the cd player, "Brandon, not this song in front of the kids!"

Apollo's standing in the doorway by this point and Brandon starts laughing, "You could have yelled you were home and had Apollo, Sarah."

Willow's light laughter comes from the door on the opposite side of the room, "Or you could have let us know you were on your way long before and we wouldn't be having practice night. Dinner's ready, if you guys want to eat."

Sarah turns back to the door where Apollo's standing, "Introductions first, then dinner."

She smiles, pointing around the room, "You already met me and Dad." she points at herself and Brandon.

Then everyone in turn introduces themselves. Devon looks up from his seat, balancing a textbook on the arm of the couch, "I'm Devon."

Lyra turns from a wig she's styling, "I'm Lyra." She points to the dog laying next to her on the floor, "And this is Ace."

Then Willow grins, "And you can call me Nana Willow."

Sarah watches as Apollo takes everything in and then darts forward and wraps his arms around the dog, grinning.

It might not be a person, but he's found something to connect to and that's as good a start as any.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] [Dance Ten, Looks Three (Tits and Ass) from A Chorus Line](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWKDLGF6v9o)


	5. Night Terror and a Mother's Love

**Chapter 5: Night Terror and a Mother's Love**

After dinner Apollo is yawning and Sarah smiles, "Devon, do you want to help Apollo for bed, same rules we always have." 

Devon grins, "Sure, why not."

He holds out one hand to Apollo and leads him into the kitchen and opens a cabinet, "Our rules are that you're allowed one snack and a water bottle at bed time to keep in your room in case you wake up hungry in the middle of the night." 

Apollo nods looking in the cabinet, poking around until he finds a package of peanut butter crackers and Devon hands him a water bottle from the fridge. 

Upstairs, Devon shows Apollo where the bathroom is as well as his room and Apollo puts the water bottle and the package of crackers on the bedside table before going through his bag on the floor and taking out a pair of red pajamas before he goes into the bathroom by himself and gets ready for bed. 

Devon sits down at the desk to wait, since Apollo is old enough to mostly be ready on his own. 

When Apollo is finally crawling into bed, Devon prepares to tuck him in and Apollo lashes out with little fists, yelling, "NO!" 

Devon freezes, dropping the edge of the blanket and letting Apollo continue the panicked flailing, not budging much even when the kid manages to hit him and Brandon steps in the room, "What's the commotion?" 

Devon shrugs, "I think I scared him when I tried to tuck him in." 

Apollo has, by this point, taken the dropped blanket and gathered it up into a nest around him and the pillows. "No blankets on top," he declares. 

And Brandon shakes his head, "Okay, Apollo. But we don't say no by hitting and yelling. Say sorry to Devon." 

Sheepishly, Apollo looks up, "I'm sorry." 

Devon reaches out and ruffles Apollo's hair, "It's okay, Apollo. I should have asked rather than acted. Good night, Apollo." 

Brandon smiles, "I can take over from here, Dev." 

Devon nods and heads back down to the parlor, where Sarah has the bag of Apollo's paperwork and a few more belongings spread out on the coffee table. 

Sarah looks up, "What was that commotion about?" 

"He didn't want the blanket over him and he managed to hit me to express his disagreement. Dad scolded him a little and said he'd take care of the rest. Admittedly, it's partially my fault, I should have asked."

Sarah smiles, "Hindsight's 20/20. At least now you know. He's not had the easiest time of this, Devon. He's been in and out of the system a lot. More than is typical." 

Devon nods, and looks at the stuff on the table and picks up a plastic bag, "Hey... What's this? Looks like a heirloom." 

"It's a bracelet. Apparently it belonged to his birth mother. I'm not entirely sure why the orphanage didn't give it back to him." 

"Are you going to give it to him?" 

"Yeah. He deserves to have it. Whomever his mother is, she must have loved him a lot. No ordinary mother would leave something that beautiful with a little boy without a reason. Who knows, maybe he'll find her again, or she'll find him. And I think it's the clearest way to express that I'm giving him both my love and hers."


	6. Both Your Mothers's Love

A few weeks later, after one long day of appointments, Sarah realized that Apollo wasn't sure how to interpret why she was bringing him everywhere with her, talking about him with a bunch of different people: doctors, social workers, teachers, and other school officials. 

Back at the house, she made hot chocolate and settled him on the couch and allowed Ace jumping up on the couch to curl up next to him. (She still hasn't gotten around to getting the dog formally certified as such, but Ace functions much like a therapy dog -- he has good judgment of who needs him most.)

Apollo buries his face in Ace's fur and Sarah sighs, stepping into the office and pulling out the bracelet and slipping it into her pocket. 

She sits down next to Apollo. "Apollo, honey?" 

The boy looks up and she smiles, "I have something for you, but I want to talk to you about it first." 

"We adopted you, you understand what that means, right?" 

Apollo nods, "It means Mommy gave me away and I have a different family now. Right now, that's here with you and Dad and Lyra and Devon and Nana Willow." 

Sarah nods and pulls out the bracelet and hands it to him, "This is yours, I think." 

Apollo's eyes widen as he holds it, "Mommy's bracelet! They said they lost it!" 

Sarah frowns at that, but doesn't respond; that answers the question she asked herself that first night. She watches as he puts it on and it settles itself in a size that fits snuggly against his wrist. That's different. 

Apollo looks up at her with his hands crossed in a way that allows one hand to rest over the bracelet, "Why'd you give it to me?" 

Sarah smiles, "I don't know what they were telling you before about your Mommy, Apollo. But I'll tell you why. Because I love you and no matter what anyone else says, you're my son now and I'm not leaving you. And because that bracelet says Mommy loves you. I don't know your Mommy's story. I doubt I ever will. I don't intend to pursue those answers, anyway. But, I believe that by giving you that, her every intention was that you knew that she loved you. And I intend to give you her love and mine, because I think that's what she would want. You can consider me giving you her bracelet now my promise. No matter what happens, no matter how many mistakes you make, I'll always be here and I'll always love you. With my love and hers." 

He looks at her startled, "You're telling the truth."

The fact that he's startled by the truth bothers her a little. It shows just how broken his family life was before them and in some ways she's glad she's had so much experience working with kids in the system. 

"I will never lie about that, Apollo. This is your home now."

She turns the TV on to cartoons and smiles at him, "You can finish your hot chocolate and watch TV. I'm going to go see how Nana Willow's doing with dinner."


	7. Nicknames and A Haircut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyra gives Apollo his first nickname and a haircut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't mention this on the meme, but seriously this is my _favorite_ piece of this headcanon series haha.

**Chapter 7: Nicknames and A Haircut**

In the months that follow giving Apollo his mother's bracelet, it soon comes to light that the bracelet gives Apollo the opportunity to challenge any lies they tell him, and he's very vocal about wanting to know the whole truth. 

When they start watching the old VHS tapes of Lilo and Stitch -- both the movie and the ones they've had taped from the TV show when Devon was younger (Sarah has always liked how Disney managed to broach the subject of nontraditional families and adoption through it and "Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten" is one of those rare gems of Disney brilliance)-- Lyra suddenly decides to playfully tease Apollo by calling him Fibber after the lie-detector cousin.

One weekend afternoon over lunch, Apollo is blowing hair out of his face with an irritated huff and Lyra looks toward Sarah, "Mom, can I give Apollo a haircut?" 

"You should ask Apollo himself, Lyra, but as long as I get to see what you want to do first, I think it'll be fine." 

Lyra grins, "Fibber, want a haircut?" 

"Stop calling me that!" he protests, but he nods and after they eat, Lyra sets up a little studio at the bar table near the kitchen bringing in one of the standing mirrors she uses when she's styling more complex wigs and her basket of hairstyling supplies. 

As she starts twisting his hair up, she realizes that she's managed to twist both front locks of hair that would make up his bangs up in claw clips and they look kind of like floppy antenna or bunny ears... 

She studies him, "That's kind of cute... Though it kind of breaks the rules for clients with large foreheads."

She turns toward the parlor, "MOOOM! I want your opinion on something!"

When Sarah comes to look, Lyra unclips one of the bangs and brushes it upward, "I kind of like the way this looks -- spiky bangs like little antennae instead of sidesweeping them or getting rid of them entirely. I know he's a bit young for product, but this is really distinctive. He looks like a little alien, and you know how much he loves the Stitch movie! What do you think?"

Sarah looks at Apollo's appearance in the mirror and then moves around the table to see it face to face, "Well, it is cute and no one would mistake him for anyone else. What do you think, Apollo? Do you like the idea of having your hair up like that?"

She watches him stare at himself in the mirror and then he nods. 

Sarah smiles, "It's settled then. Go ahead, Lyra. I'll watch."

Lyra nods and trims the dead ends off the antenna lock she's brushing. Then twists it back into the claw clip and repeats the process with the other antenna. Then she studies the back of his head with a comb, to see what length the hair is underneath. "Hmm... it's layered to be longer on the bottom back here. I'm probably going to have to improvise, but I think I can trim it all closer. I can experiment with some other styles as he gets older, but I'm just going to see what I can come up with on the spot."

She settles on keeping the longest layer in the back long and tapering it a bit from the bottom upward in the back and sides. Then she moves back to the front and brushes the bangs down and trims them a little shorter and angles the cut so that if they came completely undone it would frame his face. 

She then goes through her basket and dampens his hair a little bit and uses a bit of gel first to slick back the sides and back. Then she works on maneuvering the antenna toward the center of his forehead and freezes them into place, slicking back the strands that don't carry all the way to the position she wants. 

She cleans up the mess she's made around the table and then grins at Apollo. "I think I like this style on you. Let's go show Dad and Dev!" 

Sarah nods, "It really does suit him." 

In the parlor Lyra grins and announces, "And this is Apollo's new look!" 

Devon looks over at Apollo and chuckles, "Did he choose that himself?"

"It was a group consult!" Lyra declares.

Brandon nods, "It's different. Stands out. I think it's good if he likes it. Do you, Apollo?"

Apollo nods enthusiastically and Lyra grins, "Good! I'll help you style it in the mornings until you're old enough to use the gel by yourself."


	8. /Omake: Hard Truths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authornon Notes: OK I'm gonna de-anon a little here. I admit, this omake here involves a huge shift in Apollo's attitude because this is set much later in the timeline. If you look this fic up on AO3 (I know some of you already have!), you'll find where I and a few personally chosen authornons will be posting other works in this timeline because not all of them fit in well with PWKM prompts (and some of them do, but it's not easy to link to them all).

* * *

**Chapter 8/Omake: Hard Truths**  
About a year after State vs Misham, Thalassa's sitting on one of the couches inside the Anything Agency when Apollo and Trucy get home from the courthouse. 

"Mr. Justice... Trucy, there's something I need to talk to you both about."

The two of them both look at her and Apollo nods, "Yes, Lamiroir?"

She casts her eyes around the room, "How to explain this..." 

She notices the spare hat of Trucy's on the table and picks it up and puts it on her head. 

Trucy's eyes widen and she launches herself at Lamiroir, "MOMMY!" 

Apollo shifts from one foot to the other, wondering what exactly this has to do with him. Then Lamiroir waves at him with one braceleted wrist and he focuses immediately on the bracelet. He steps forward and catches that arm in his own and compares the one on Lamiroir's wrist with the one on his own. They're identical. 

The memory comes back to him immediately.

> _"I don't know what they were telling you before about your Mommy, Apollo. But I'll tell you why. Because I love you and no matter what anyone else says, you're my son now and I'm not leaving you. And because that bracelet says Mommy loves you. I don't know your Mommy's story. I doubt I ever will. I don't intend to pursue those answers, anyway. But, I believe that by giving you that, her every intention was that you knew that she loved you. And I intend to give you her love and mine, because I think that's what she would want. You can consider me giving you her bracelet now my promise. No matter what happens, no matter how many mistakes you make, I'll always be here and I'll always love you. With my love and hers."_  
> 

He looks at Lamiroir with widening eyes as he drops her hand. Back then, Sarah's remark had been one that he'd clung to for most of his later childhood: Mommy gave me away and I've been hurt a lot, but Sarah says Mommy's bracelet means Mommy loves me and Sarah loves me twice as much for Mommy. 

However, when Sarah told him he was old enough to try to look for his birth mother, even with Mr. Gavin's help, he'd never been able to turn up anything about the bracelet's previous owner and he'd decided he couldn't afford to keep wishing for the truth from a mother who couldn't be found. (And in the moment now, with everything he knows, he wonders if the constant dead ends were entirely Mr. Gavin's doing.)

"You're... You're my... my birth mother?"

Thalassa frowns and then nods, "I'm sorry, Apollo." 

Apollo turns toward Mr. Wright who has mysteriously appeared in the other doorway over the course of the revelation, with that familiar almost knowing smile. " **You** \-- You _knew_ about this!" 

He makes to march over to the older defense attorney but Lamiroir grabs him by the sleeve, voice soft but firm, "If you are going to be mad at anyone, Apollo, you should be mad at me. I asked Mr. Wright to keep it a secret until I was ready. He has done nothing wrong."

Apollo glares at her, his voice getting progressively louder, "I'm mad at both of you! I looked for you for _years_ , Ms. Gramarye." (He chooses that name because it's the truth now.) "I stopped because I couldn't afford the wishful thinking for answers from a mother who couldn't be found. And Mr. Wright _never_ tells me the truth when he should. And if you encouraged him to lie, you're... you're an _accomplice _. _You_ of all people, Ms. Gramarye, should know that I don't like being lied to! Let me go!" __

__He yanks his arm out of her grasp and heads out the door, ignoring Trucy's shriek of "Polly! That's not very nice!"_ _


End file.
